Marriage is serious business.
Many people prepare for the wedding without sparing a thought for the marriage.
Weddings are for a day. Or 6 hours really.
Marriage is for a lifetime. Or should be. So what are the essential ingredients to consider when preparing for marriage?
What do successful couples do that make their marriages work?
Answer the questions below truthfully and you might just learn a thing or two.
Your Love Languages.
He says that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love
So knowing how you perceive love and also how your spouse recognizes love will go a long way in enriching your relationship. It helps you to be purposeful about words, gifts and acts of kindness.
What love language(s) perfectly describes me? My spouse?
All or Nothing
The reason most marriages lasted for years without end before the 80’s was basically founded on the fact that marriage was considered a lifetime partnership.
Am I willing to be with him/her for the rest of my life?
If there’s some uncertainty, now is a time to do the rethink. Not when you are married, and probably have little kids who look up to you.
Oh, you snore!
Many people put their best foot forward during dating and courtship. In marriage however, you see it all. The good, the bad and very ugly. Sometimes, it’s tempting to resent the way he eats, or leaves his socks lying around, or even snores. It’s almost as if you should get out and stay out. But hold on.
You also have your not-so-perfect moments. And you live with yourself. Interesting.
The key is to realize that your spouse has imperfections the same way you have yours. It works not only for marriage but everyone. When you realize that you also have issues that people cope with, you would be more compassionate and willing to give second chances.
Am I willing to accommodate my spouse’s not-so-perfect moments?
I forgive you
I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I forgive you.
These words are precious in themselves but more so in a marriage. They are worth their weight in gold. It can put out a raging fire in seconds. The daily grind of life and responsibilities would cause friction in marriage and having a disposition to forgive hurts would definitely save your marriage.
Is it difficult for me to accept faults and say, I’m sorry?
Tell me more
Like any institution, learning enhances growth. For a successful marriage, you need to learn how it’s done. This can be by reading books, attending seminars and even learning from other married couples you admire. No knowledge is wasted. You either learn how to, or how NOT to act in marriage.
Am I prepared to keep learning and developing myself in marriage?
Tend and grow
Whatever you tend, will grow. So when you invest your time, emotions, money, physical presence, etc in your marriage, the results produce a successful relationship. It’s almost a cliché, the grass looks greener on the other side.
But the truth is, the grass is greenest where you water it. If you nurture it enough, then it would blossom.
Am I willing to fully invest into building my marriage?
Storms and bumps
Life itself is full of ups and downs. Marriage is no different. There would be times of crisis and upheavals. It could be in form of sickness, death of loved ones, loss of jobs, financial issues, etc
Having a united front as a couple is essential to surviving these periods.
Am I prepared to stand with my spouse in the bad times?
Don’t choke the life
It’s important to understand that as great as having common interests is, it can be overwhelming when done to the extreme. You need some alone time.
It’s okay to have other interests which develop you as an individual and help you bring wholeness into the relationship. And so you’re not looking for validity and approval alone from your partner.
When you are complete in yourself, you bring that completion to the marriage and your relationship is richer.
What activities that I can do to better myself as a person?
I do hope these questions were helpful, if you need to discuss any of them, please don’t hesitate to contact me. At least, I’d listen. *smiles*