Checklist and Awesome Tips For a Successful Marriage
Marriage is serious business.
Many people prepare for the wedding without sparing a thought for the marriage.
Weddings are for a day. Or 6 hours really.
Marriage is for a lifetime. Or should be. So what are the essential ingredients to consider when preparing for marriage?
What do successful couples do that make their marriages work?
Answer the questions below truthfully and you might just learn a thing or two.
Cheers!
Your Love Languages.
Gary Chapman, author of Love Languages summed up all love languages into five. gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch (intimacy).
He says that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love
So knowing how you perceive love and also how your spouse recognizes love will go a long way in enriching your relationship. It helps you to be purposeful about words, gifts and acts of kindness.
What love language(s) perfectly describes me? My spouse?
All or Nothing
The reason most marriages lasted for years without end before the 80’s was basically founded on the fact that marriage was considered a lifetime partnership.
Am I willing to be with him/her for the rest of my life?
If there’s some uncertainty, now is a time to do the rethink. Not when you are married, and probably have little kids who look up to you.
Oh, you snore!
Many people put their best foot forward during dating and courtship. In marriage however, you see it all. The good, the bad and very ugly. Sometimes, it’s tempting to resent the way he eats, or leaves his socks lying around, or even snores. It’s almost as if you should get out and stay out. But hold on.
You also have your not-so-perfect moments. And you live with yourself. Interesting.
The key is to realize that your spouse has imperfections the same way you have yours. It works not only for marriage but everyone. When you realize that you also have issues that people cope with, you would be more compassionate and willing to give second chances.
Am I willing to accommodate my spouse’s not-so-perfect moments?
I forgive you
I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I forgive you.
These words are precious in themselves but more so in a marriage. They are worth their weight in gold. It can put out a raging fire in seconds. The daily grind of life and responsibilities would cause friction in marriage and having a disposition to forgive hurts would definitely save your marriage.
Is it difficult for me to accept faults and say, I’m sorry?
Tell me more
Like any institution, learning enhances growth. For a successful marriage, you need to learn how it’s done. This can be by reading books, attending seminars and even learning from other married couples you admire. No knowledge is wasted. You either learn how to, or how NOT to act in marriage.
Am I prepared to keep learning and developing myself in marriage?
Tend and grow
Whatever you tend, will grow. So when you invest your time, emotions, money, physical presence, etc in your marriage, the results produce a successful relationship. It’s almost a cliché, the grass looks greener on the other side.
But the truth is, the grass is greenest where you water it. If you nurture it enough, then it would blossom.
Am I willing to fully invest into building my marriage?
Storms and bumps
Life itself is full of ups and downs. Marriage is no different. There would be times of crisis and upheavals. It could be in form of sickness, death of loved ones, loss of jobs, financial issues, etc
Having a united front as a couple is essential to surviving these periods.
Am I prepared to stand with my spouse in the bad times?
Don’t choke the life
It’s important to understand that as great as having common interests is, it can be overwhelming when done to the extreme. You need some alone time.
It’s okay to have other interests which develop you as an individual and help you bring wholeness into the relationship. And so you’re not looking for validity and approval alone from your partner.
When you are complete in yourself, you bring that completion to the marriage and your relationship is richer.
What activities that I can do to better myself as a person?
I do hope these questions were helpful, if you need to discuss any of them, please don’t hesitate to contact me. At least, I’d listen. *smiles*
Stay complete.
Hey Ruth,
Good to be here and thanks for the engagement on my article on Aha!Now.
Yes, there is a huge difference between marriage and wedding.
I think marriage preparation starts during courtship but it’s unfortunate (as you put it) that partners tend to hide what makes them real. To me, a real person is the one who shows his/her colors any time.
For instance, if you are that type who flies into anger anytime, if during courtship you pretend and keep swallowing up your anger, you are not real. You just simply camouflage so the guy should think you are slow to anger.
You are actually preparing your marriage to fail. You may have a great wedding but great weddings are not the door to great marriages.
Don’t be one person during courtship and another person once in marriage.
Do have a wonderful weekend ahead
Enstine Muki recently posted…Hostgator 60% discount code Limited Time Promotion!
Hi Enstine,
Thanks for stopping by.
I agree with you on that point. People should not wear masks during courtship.
Be as open as possible so the other party knows what he/she is going in for. Unmet expectations form part of the basic problems in a marriage. It can be avoided.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
Have a blessed weekend.
Ruth recently posted…Would you like to SAVE Your marriage before it even begins?
Before reading this beautiful post I used to think that Wedding & Marriages are one thing with two different names but thank you for explaining such a wonderful thought which will help newly married couples to be together for lifetime!!
Wedding is just the celebration but Marriage is the real bond between the two souls!!
Great!!
Hi Neo,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
And i agree with you too. The wedding is the celebration and marriage is the real journey.
Glad you found the post helpful.
Cheers,
Ruth
Hey Ruth
Acceptance – its a tough one. There are those days where your partner chewing can do your head in. Or in midst a discussion/argument you point out a trait you don’t like and your partner points one out they don’t like about you. Yes its tit for tat but we are all human. When I heard what my partner did not appreciate about me I was stopped in my tracks. He had pointed out something that I agreed with but was unaware. I as shocked to say the least.
But that snoring – me tossing and turning, then getting angry because I can’t sleep. My man was lucky to wake up alive. Relationships the sooner we get better at really enjoying each other and accepting those flaws, the better off the relationship will be. Thanks for the reminder.
Rachel
Rachel recently posted…Emotions Don’t Do Any Damage – Actions Do.
Hi Rachel,
Thanks for coming over.
Come to think of it, we all have little irritating habits, too.
Hahaha.
It’s shocking to see ourselves as others see us – less -than- perfect.
And I totally agree with you there, the sooner we enjoy the strengths of our partners and nurture it while accepting the flaws, the better and stress-free our relationship will be.
Nice having you around.
Have a great day.
Ruth
Hi Ruth ie. Those were salient and thought -provoking questions! I was telling my hubby the other day that
” Marriage is a lot of work, it takes lots of work to make your marriage work”.
Similarly, “it takes two working people to make a working marriage work”
I should probably have spent a little more time fro licking and ‘enjoying ‘ my stay at my parents’. Lol
Contact me for more marriage quotes. *winks*
Hello Banke,
Yes indeed. A good marriage doesn’t just happen. Feel free to share your quotes here. *winks*
He y, thanks for sharing such wonderful tips for married people.I think trust is the key thing which makes your relation stronger.
Keep sharing awesome content
Yes ofcourse we all should want to save the marriage as it is a very pure relationship of two souls and by my vision i strongly prefer to save the marriage.
Regards
Kitereksu
You’re welcome.
thanks for reading, Kitereksu.
Hey, Amazing article.Really appreciated your tips. Thank you for sharing nice thoughts.It must be helpful for married people.
Thank you for your kind words, Kavya. Yes, it actually is.